Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
