Dual....:-)
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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