well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
