So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
