I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
