My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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