i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
