Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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