you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
