This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
