The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
