So drunk its hurt
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
