found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
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