I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Couch. On fire.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
