My Higher Power is John Stamos
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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