I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize