i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just found puke in my bra..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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