Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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