Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Drake has all the answers
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
