She said her name was "party"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize