it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
