She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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