Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize