cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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