Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just forgot I was standing up.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
