I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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