Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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