at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
