Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think my vagina is haunted
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Holy shit dude........stairs
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
