thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
