How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
