i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
