Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
