I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
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