i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
