there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
