You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
