i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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