I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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