This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
