I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
