I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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