Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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