U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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