Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
