K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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