and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
