remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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