i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
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You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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