what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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