you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize