Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
