Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
