Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
try to milk me bitch
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