quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
