He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
honey bunches of taint.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
