Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
