She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.