anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
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for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
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My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.