Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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