I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize