So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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