I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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