handjob tips. give me some.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
