U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
