It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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