So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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