Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
