dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
