There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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