I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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