I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Every concussion has its silver lining
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He? As in you personified your dick?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
