i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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