You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
