Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
