I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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