can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
